As a Parent, a movement Educator, and a Human Being, physical closeness has cultural connotations and universal physiological commonalities.
In the absence of trauma, physical closeness to other living creatures is a valuable, positive experience.
We often are on the receiving end of benefits when our beloved pet cuddles with us. We also feel the warmth and safety that accompanies a hug from a person we love and trust.
Depending on where we live, physical contact is either cherished or avoided. Culture pulls our experience as physical creatures towards passion and togetherness or, pushes us toward coldness and insulation from contact.
I lean heavily towards the belief that physical contact is vital to my mental health and that hugs are the equivalent of a turbo charge for my emotional batteries that power my mental well-being.
This is why in a world obsessed with efficiency, schedules, and goal posts, taking the time to decompress and recharge in the closeness and togetherness of physical contact seems like an oddity and almost a taboo. More so, through its absence, physical contact becomes uncomfortable and awkward to many.
We block out what used to be a beautifully complex natural process by placing distance and norms between each other.
Through a sistemic and - quite frankly - absurd maneuvering away from contact, we build an emotional citadel around our bodies, with fear as the predominant field force surrounding us...and imprisoning us.
In recent years, technology has exacerbated this voluntary isolation, with two gadgets predominantly being used as deterrent against physical interaction: earbuds and smartphones. While these two gadgets have flawlessly integrated with the aforementioned citadel, a newer technology is now creating a new layer of "defense" and a new level of isolation by creating a virtual bubble of digital interaction - between us and a machine - while slowly and continuously dissolving the natural physical, mental, and emotional bonds we were once capable of.
In other words, we are all slowly becoming islands, isolated by a sea of loneliness - safe, yet devoid of the serenity of senses we have given up in exchange for a continuous string of rushed moments and addictive instant gratifications.
I was briefly prompting an AI platform recently when I playfully decided to ask for a simple hug.
The AI however, was unable to comply, and instead it proceeded to contextualize my query into a series of useful information about hugs. It did what it is designed to do - instantly engage in "conversation" with me, systemizing what it calculated to be my train of thought, and summarized ideas into very simple, organized, and cold...facts.
I did not get a hug, but I did learn* that if I was to hold or be held in a hug for 20 seconds instead of 5, my brain would release oxytocin and I would feel...happy.
This fact alone however, did not make me happy, evidently. I was however aware of the lack of happiness, which of course can be quite sad and even depressing.
In our rush to be most productive and most efficient with our lives, we have built the instruments capable to cut us from living.
Instead of counting the stars at night, listening to the songs of birds or the wind whispering through treetops, tasting the flavors of earth, and breathing the scents of life, we wrapped ourselves in a shroud of daily tasks. Instead of feeling the goosebumps from a soft touch or the wonders of holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes we metamorphosized into data processors. Very fast, efficient, data processors.
In our obsession for efficiency and rush through data and tasks, we completely forgot that 20 seconds is all we need.
20 seconds per hug. 20 seconds to boost our oxytocin levels.
20 seconds to "feel" the natural rhythm of life.
So, if only in the name of efficiency, slow yourself down to the speed of a 20 second hug, preferably with another human being. Even better, give into a pat on the back, a longer handshake, random embraces, a lean into someone, a shoulder to shoulder moment of playfulness.
Get physical. Stay human.
It's the equivalent of efficiency in the natural world. The world that has a bit** of a pulse.
* https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/keep-it-in-mind/202201/what-20-seconds-hugging-can-do-you
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